U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Vodka?
Forever.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
