Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You can't special order awesome
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
