My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
