She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize