then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize