It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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