you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize