I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
