i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
