Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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