She's JV to your varsity
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
