I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
