he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
