She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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