U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
