this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
