Its about making memories worth repressing
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
