you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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