why didn't you poke me back
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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