It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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