I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize