I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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