Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
