My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
