If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
