seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
