I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
whose parrot is this?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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