the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
