I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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