Nicole vs. Life
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
