There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
