Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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