I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
