So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
