i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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