well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
