It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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