so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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