paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
