I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
So much rum. So many feels.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
