i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I am available for nakedness
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
