If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize