At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
