Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
