please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
