Pants 0. Shit 1.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
me + whiskey = a bad person
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My vagina just clenched in fear
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
