i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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