I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
