hotel room ftw
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
