I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
