Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
