3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Randomize