who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
