so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
