You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
