And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize