Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
