doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize