theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
