super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
