This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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