wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
